The essence of manhood is the subject of much debate in the modern era. It can be tough to navigate through this dialogue at times but Iron John by Robert Bly is a deep mine of wisdom. I kept hearing about this book and the title itself drew me in, Iron John: A Book About Men. He follows the story of Iron John by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm and uses the Wild Man as the mentor figure to men through the eight part story. Bly teaches through this myth to draw out real applications, analysis and critiques of the modern man. While reading this book, I felt pain and joy reflecting on my own personal journey. He starts the book writing about how the modern man has become docile and gentle but counters with, “Contact with Iron John requires a willingness to descend into the male psyche and accept what’s dark down there, including the nourishing dark.” Freeing the Wild Man from the cage like in the myth of Iron John comes at a barter. Asking for the lost “golden ball” that many of us men lose in our life that we long to have back we must unlock that cage of the Wild Man. I liked how he emphasizes the importance of a rite of passage into manhood, “Women can change the embryo to a boy, but only men can change the boy to a man. Initiators say that boys need a second birth, this time a birth from men.” Robert Bly puts a premium on mentorship which is also a lost role in the current times. He writes, “Not receiving any blessing from your father is an injury. Robert Moore said, ‘If you’re a young man and you’re not being admired by an older man, you’re being hurt.'” He writes about how important male friendship is which compared to contemporary competitive work relationships do not truly satisfy the soul. The addictive state of America is addressed in this book as well. Bly points out that we becomes slaves and attractiveness of it, “There is a pleasure in becoming a slave. Then we can turn into an addict, and never be in charge of our own life, and shame ourselves further.” On the journey to manhood, Bly writes about finding your “ashes.” The great men of the past found theirs in their physical or financial trials on the road to a stronger self. Again he pulls from the images in the myth but nonetheless he writes about “entering the garden”. The garden being that of a time set apart in self reflection or self betterment, “Some men entering the garden begin by getting up at 5 A.M. and keeping an hour for themselves each morning before work.” Developing the “internal warrior” again is an interesting point that Bly makes. He calls men to bring out the sword to cut away from our own self-pity and victimhood, “The collapse of the warrior means that the sword is thrown away. I have met many good men since who say that if someone gave them a sword, they would break it or stick into the earth and walk away.” That image is a defining feature of many of us, Bly calls us back to arms. He concludes with this excellent summation of the Wild Man, “The Wild Man’s qualities, among them love of spontaneity, association with wilderness, honoring of grief, and respect for riskiness, frightens many people.” Robert Bly stresses the importance of opening yourself to ashes. A path that involves intensity, self awareness of wounds and possibility of failures. This book is an unashamed diagnosis of manhood but unlike most books bashing us men, it provides many great antidotes against becoming spineless complacent boys. Go buy this book, read it, take notes on it and then go out into the world with the sword remembering our brother Iron John.
Written by Michael McPhail
Robert Bly
Brains and Brawn 